Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Arkansas Eyes On Arizona Illegal Immigrant Legislation

In another show of loss faith in the federal government, the State of Arizona has imposed an illegal immigration law in an attempt to stabilize their state economy. The law requires immigrants to carry papers showing that they are in the United States legally. It also requires police to question people as to their immigration status if they are suspected of being here illegally.

One group that is monitoring the end results of the law is a non-profit organization in Arkansas called Secure Arkansas. Since the state of Arkansas has no such law in place, the group is very interested in modeling similar legislation in Arkansas. Oklahoma is another state that has tough illegal immigration laws. During the period that it went into effect, Arkansas became a safe haven or sanctuary for illegals aliens.

Secure Arkansas is currently collecting signatures for a ballot proposal amending the state constitution to deny state services to most illegal immigrants. One of their concerns is the drain illegal immigrants has had on the state's coffers. During these days of tight financing, providing such services to illegals overwhelms the taxpayer.

When such actions are being considered that affects such a large number of people, you have a pro and con side of the issues. In this case, the opposition to having laws similar to Arizona is a group called the Arkansas Friendship Coalition. The A.F.C. was formed to oppose any laws that targets illegals. They foresee such laws or legislation to legalize racial profiling. Another group that said it would oppose such laws within the state, is the state chapter of the League of United Latin American Citizens, or LULAC.

Both groups feel that actions governing such laws should rest on the shoulders of the federal government, and not the states individually. One of the reasons the State of Arizona created such legislation is that the federal government is failing in this area of their responsibilities.

The Last Partner has long thought that illegal immigrants were a major concern to our country and our country's economy in that commonly they join our work forces at lower wages, taken on employment that a legal citizen should be performing. Whether that employee be a natural American or not. It would not be so bad a problem if the large corporations and companies would enforce the intention that all its employees are legal citizens of this country. As long as they sanction such practices similar to this, the problem will never be resolved.

Contrary to our nation's policies, the Mexican government has been in the news condemning such practices as sending their own citizens back where they came from. Mexico. I believe that this is because we are getting a large number of their criminals elements. You know the violent domestic abusers and drug peddlers. The Mexican government should be held accountable for its non-existing support of this problem. That might reduce some of the financial burden to the American taxpayer.

Do not get me wrong, I am not against the Mexicans, prejudice or biased against their race. If the problem was reversed I feel then that our government should be held accountable. My Hispanic associates believe this also. If they want to come over here, get the proper authorization.

To ease up on the problem of illegal aliens, the president wants to offer amnesty. If all of the states bordering (including) Mexico would adopt and enforce similar imigration laws, we would not have to increase our number of border patrols, and we would more or less see the deportation numbers drop. This might even shut down some drug cartels if background checks are performed prior too crossing the border.

Tell those wishing to come and live in the United States to get their green card, apply for citizenship and follow this country's laws. Then we can welcome them with open arms.

This is the voice of the Last Partner.

Arkansas Group Challenges The New Health Care Law

As reported in the Times Record, article "Group Fighting Mandate by John Lyon, a reporter for the Arkansas News Bureau, Wednesday April 28, 2010, front page."

A group called Secure Arkansas filed a lawsuit Tuesday in the U.S. District Court in Little Rock challenging the constitutionally of the federal health care legislation. Two oficers from the conservative grass-roots group alleges that the provision of the law requiring nearly all Americans to buy insurance exceeds Congress' power as difined in Article I of the U.S. Constitution.

The lawsuit was filed by the group's chairman Jeannie Burlsworth and it's state coordinator, Todd Sharp. They are also attempting to have it certified as a class-action lawsuit so that others wishing to, can piggy-back on their lawsuit. Secure Arkansas maintains that the provision also violates Article IV and the 10th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution which covers citizens sovereignty and taking on powers reserved to the states that are not delegated to the federal government.

The lawsuit names as defendants: U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, the Treasury Department, Secretary of the Treasury Timothy Geithner, the Labor Department and Labor Secretary Hilda Solis.

Presently, the State of Arkansas Attorney General Dustin McDaniel has declined to join in the lawsuit saying that he believes that suit would not succeed and would be politically motivated. The Arkansas Governor's spokesman, Matt DeCample, said that the governor agrees with McDaniel.

This is the first challenge to the lawsuit initiated by a nonprofit organization, but other nonprofit organizations have expressed interested in piggy-backing onto their suit . Declaring that the law subjects criminal penalty or fines against Arkansans that do not buy insurance.

Republicans state lawmakers, Reps. Frank Glidewell, Fort Smith, and Dan Greenberg, Little Rock, have proposed an interim study on state laws to "thwart the federal law." Chris Stewart, an attorney from Little Rock, will be representing the plaintiffs of the suit. Legal action will be funded by donations.

The Last Partner has no personal opinion of the law at this point. Where do you stand?

As stated above, this information from taken from an article in today's local newspaper.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Depression Is A Bitch

You have read about it in the newspapers, on the internet and/or heard about it on your television every other day. But what is depression? Quite frankly, depression is a bitch, and chances are great that someone close to you has it.

I have suffered from depression for over twenty years now, according to the doctors I saw in the Army and now V.A. In the beginning, I would tell you that “I do not have depression.” I felt good most of the time, and only felt down ever so often. Just enough for someone to ask what was wrong with me. This I call the first stage where it is not really noticeable or obvious unless you are either very familiar with the individual or paying specific attention to that person's behavior.

It did not don on me until the night I secretly attempted suicide. I say secretly because I took some medication I was prescribed for pain without anyone's knowledge and increased the dosage to a level I thought would take me out. It was working. My heart skipped a beat about three times. It was at this point that I got scared, and confided in one person I trusted. He stayed with me, keeping me alert.

When my heart skipped a beat, reality started setting in. The second time it skipped, I began to panic and told my friend what I had done. All I could imagine was total blackness. A finality that I was not ready to meet.

From what I can ascertain, I took enough pills to kill me, but only if I had resigned and went to sleep. No fight. Just slip into the darkness. There was too much time involved, too much time to think and let reality sink in. I was blessed for my stupidity.

For me, at the time, I really don’t think I wanted to die.

I began therapy with Mental Hygiene that year. For a long time I figured that it was just the stress I was under at the time, and everything was fine. It was just before this episode that I began having unexplained chronic pains. It was not blamed on depression until I filed for disability compensation from the V.A. They put me on multiple anti-depressants.

My bouts with depression had me listless, unable to sleep properly, unmotivated to do anything, not want to get out of bed, and seeking solitude. When I did sleep, it was so deep it was hard to wake me. Now I do not go too far from my home while in my hometown, but I still travel out of the state. I have taken my family to Baltimore, MD; Orlando, FL; Dallas/Fort Worth, TX; Port Lavaca, TX; Killeen/Fort Hood, TX; and Branson, MO. Once we arrived, I hardly left our motel room.

I am afraid of the affects this is having on my family. I mean, I do everything within my powers to insure that my children’s lives are much more enriched than when I was their age; but I know it has to affect them some how. My moods, staying home most of the time, no friends or outside family stopping by. And well, everything.

I do not want to be depressed, but I do not know how to actively stop it. I am not even sure how it started, but suicide is no longer an option. My children are my motivators for this. Whenever I feel like leaving, I think about how much they need me, and my dark thoughts slip into that good night. I have had to learn how to live with it. Key word is live.

This is why according to the Last Partner, depression is a bitch.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Politics - 2010 Primaries - Good For Who

Looking over the information in the newspapers, the internet and television, the TEA Party Movement has got me wondering what is in store for this country. Most of the lower income voters do not really know what is going on. There just might be a shift of power in Congress when the primaries are over.

In Arkansas all eyes are on the senate race. Particularly, the race for the incumbent Democrat's job. The Republican candidates all seem to be clones of each other. One party, one idea. While the democratic candidates are "slinging mud" at each other to try to get an edge on the other. Back to the point.

Congress has been under democratic control for this administration thus far, but this election might just turn the tide. Our Democratic Senator heads some of the commissions in Washington, Chairman of the Senate Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition, and Forestry, and serving in the Finance Committee as Chairman of the Subcommittee on Social Security, Pensions, and Family Policy for the 111th Congress.

In these positions there is a lot she can accomplish to help her state and this nation. But if a Republican wins her seat there is no telling where we are headed. See, Arkansas is just one of the seats they have placed a high value on obtaining this primary. If they can win enough seats, Republicans will be the majority of Congress.

From the Last Partner's point of view, this is going to make things harder for our President than what it has been. I predicted that he would have a hard time, not because he was a Democrat, but because of his race and Congress has historically favored skin of the "lighter" persuasion since its inception. His winning scared a lot of people in this country, especially the rich. Which is why the race card was played. Everyone was so afraid that he was going to favor the blacks or afro-Americans. I think they still are, afraid, but are just hiding it in the issues at the fore-front of the American people. The war, healthcare, the bailout, his choices for Supreme Court Justices, and whatever else he favors.

These same issues are being used to decide the current primaries. Which incumbent candidate voted for or against which issue. Will this person go in working with the president or against. I am not here to persuade you one way or the other, but to tell you that there is more riding on these primaries than you are being led to believe.

Take this election as seriously as you do the Presidential election. Check into the candidates before you vote, and think about what kind of impact that will make in Congress. And get out there and vote.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Tea Party Movement, The Last Partner Thinks

The Last Partner is in the process of researhing "The TEA Party Movement" as it concerns me. As I have stated before, I am not a political professional, just a concerned citizen sharing his opinions.

The TEA Party caught my attention when I read in the local newspaper that they were trying to get a state-approved militia, because of their concern on where the government is taking this country. Each state (Oklahoma) has its own protection with the National Guard. The article was written in such a way that it felt like a threat, like they want to take on the United States government when they disagree with their handling of this country's domestic policies. Hopefully, this isn't so. Maybe they have the answers to this country's problems. Hmmm.

I just read on one of the TEA Party's affiliate web page/blog about a protest in Texas where someone hollered to Governor to secede. Like other states, the Texas Governor has to decide whether or not to accept the stimulus package offered. Some of the states has declined from taking it.

It seems to me that in the past Texas had considered seceding from the union. To be its own country. So what that person hollered at the governor was not a new inclination. In the last couple of decades (Texas) there has been racial incidents where afro-americans were killed; a town there where if you are black or an "other" you were going to be stopped and fined, possibly even jailed. I do not remember the name of the town, just that it was national news.

I had mentioned in another blog about the levels of national incidents involving race seemed to have increased. Not in any one particular state. If it was not race-related  someone would try to disguise it as such. The last couple of years these incidents have become more political in nature. State officials are openly voicing their opposition to the Federal Administration's ways of taking care of business. Is this because we now have an Afro-American sitting in the White House? That the most powerfull person on the planet is Afro-American? Do they feel that he is a threat to their way of life? Or are they really concerned about the country being micro-managed?

The TEA Party has some similarity to what one thinks of when he thinks about the Klan or KKK. Their members as represented in the news, are upperly mobile caucasians (white) average age of 45, married and has higher education. Only difference, it is said that they have afro-american members. Not that many though.

They seem to fall in line with a feeling I have had for a number of years now. They (KKK) have not been that active on the national circuit for a while now. Did they decide to take a covert stance? Are they now sitting in positions of influence with the power to change life as we know it? I mean positions like: major companies CEO/President, city officials, congressman, aides in Congress, and etc. That's the power I am speaking of.

Training wise, some are getting the best terroristic training in the world in the United States military. I believe I read that either online or in a newspaper. When I was stationed in Louisiana, in the 1980's, we had to go to Mississippi to train and evaluate the Alabama National Guard. Each platoon was assigned one regular Army NCO trainer. The platoon I was tasked to had a soldier who told me that he could not associate or talk to me, because he was a klansman. So this has been going on for a while. Back on target.

I am curious about the TEA Party, its idealogy, and goals. I want to know if they are racially motivated, or actually concerned about our country's welfare. I also wonder how much of the information I have about them is proproganda. Time will tell as their ranks are growing, and they are becoming more powerful politically. They will be a power to reckon with.

This has been some Thoughts from the Last Partner.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Legalization Of Marijuania - The Last Partner Thinks

The Last Partner thinks, "Hell, yeah. Legalize marijuania" . . . mary jane . . . chronic. If you could get Mary out of the dark places she is known to travel, and put her on the street. With her being able to walk the streets in the light, I think that would bring the prison population down. I do not think that would reduce major crimes though, but maybe some of the minor ones.

Treat Mary like you treat Jack Daniels: place limitations on it, and have laws in place to govern what will make having it a crime. You know, like when a person buys a large amount of liquor, they are probably boot-legging it during times or restricted area where it is against the law to purchase. I.e., selling liquor on Sundays, or selling in a dry county. Have governmentally licensed pushers, er, I mean, distributors.

True, it has medicinal qualities, but it also have some very harmfull side effects. It can put you in a dream-like state where you would do some irrational things. I.e., speeding through residental areas, misjudging time and distance, paranoid states, etc. People has been known to take unnecessary risk that has either gotten them killed or someone else killed.

Back in the 1980's it was rumored that the government had warehouses of packaged marijuania, like cigarettes, and were prepared for the day that Mary became legal. I have never believed this, but on one level it would make sense. Regulate Mary the same way they regulate cigarettes and alcohol combined. Somewhere on Earth, it would force dealers and suppliers out of a job, or treat it like a nine to five. Can you imagine that? Me, neither.

On the real? Marijuania will never be legalized during my children's life. Yeah. Today that is what the Last Partner thinks.

What do you think?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

America As Seen Through The Eyes Of A German Woman

I was reading the newsletter today (dtd April 20, 2010), and one line caught my attention. Former President Bill Clinton was concerned about how the world perceive the United States with our "in-fighting". All the political unrest, basically a nation not so united.

Reading this short article, it reminded me of my first marriage while I stationed in Germany.She was German with a teenaged daughter, and we lived on the economy or off-post. She watched the news on German television every day, almost. To cut to the chase.

Whenever something happened in the United States, it made the German news. Hell, the President could sneeze, you turn on your television and whoop there it is. My wife heard so much about gangs, believe it or not, gas pricing, earthquakes and almost everything in D.C., she was scared to come here. I'd come home and she would tell me about things going on here that I could not confirm with my family in the States.Sometimes it would show up in the military newspaper, the Stars and Stripes.  Everything they showed on the news would be no big deal to us, that's because these type things go on daily here, but it is of major interest to the Germans. This was about twenty years ago.

I tried for months to talk her into coming State-side to live when I am reassigned. First thing out of her mouth was her fear for her daughter's safety from all the gangs she heard about on the news. I can not remember most of what else was on the news. this was when I left Germany almost twenty years ago.

From reading the short article on the website, I am assuming that Mr. Clinton is talking about the "little civil war" going on in Washington and bleeding across the nation into the states. It is a sad day to read in our newspapers, or on our television that citizens of our country are talking about taking up arms over such things as health reform, or the bailing out of some major economy players. It is all about the "benjamins".  Hopefully, it will never get to this point, but you can bet your bottom dollar, the world is watching us closely.

Remember, I am just an observer and these are the thoughts of one man views, the Last Partner.

Monday, April 19, 2010

On Camera: Cops, Bait Car, World Wildest Police Videos, Repo - The Police

Every day I watch Cops, Bait Car, World's Wildest Police Videos, or Operation Repo. One thing I have noticed, along with my father, is that if these shows are real, why are the suspects that give no resistance, get their ass whipped by the police, and that is as far as it goes? It's on camera, you know.

I am not down-playing the role that policemen play in our society, but is this something staged or just being overlooked? Officers place their lives on the line daily, but these shows leave a little to be desired. It makes it seem like brutality is an accepted norm, when we know its not. I saw one guy that was holding hostages talked into surrendering, he came out with his hands up, and once the hostages were safe, they tackled  him. Slammed him into the ground. Okay, he had hostages, but he was surrendering to the police.

There were some where they had no choice but to slam them. They were resisting arrest, and not cooperating. A few times there were physical altercation where the officers were assisted by civilians or a private citizen. There is nothing wrong with someone like this getting their ass kicked. Off camera that is. But this is not what I am talking about. Just the times where the suspect is not resisting and get slammed.

The video camera is such a wonderful thing. I just love watching how stupid some folks can be. Like those that know they have a billion dollars worth of drugs, lie to the cops about it, then let them find it in plain sight. Some are obvious hiding their drugs under the seat, in the ash tray, in their crouch or in the glove compartment. Going to the back of the car as ordered, then either dropping it on the ground and kicking it under the car, or throw it into the ditch or woods beside them.

There was some that were placed in the cruiser and verbalized what they have done, or their plans to get out of being arrested. Did they not know or see the video camera recording them. They also did this on . . .

Bait Car should be a comedy. Some of the circumstances are just hysterical watching how the suspect case out the vehicle, and the conversations they have after stealing the vehicle. In one episode a young man discussed with his partner in crime the alibi he was giving for being in the vehicle. Good samaritan taking the "abandoned" car to the police station.

Bait Car. The police take the car to a designated location, like a high crime area for auto theft, park it, and watch it untill someone takes it. They let them take the vehicle, drive it away, and with a computerized remote, they shut the car down and lock them inside. One time before anyone got in the car, a woman and man scoping it out talked about it might be a bait car. Lucky for her, someone stole it before she did.

Quick question: how many cities use bait cars to catch auto thieves without the public knowing that they use bait cars? More often than not, one criminal puts something like this into the criminal grapevine.

Operation Repo. This show can be nothing but staged. The different situations they place themselves in can be nothing but staged. My favorite was the car that got repo-ed on their wedding day, and the bride not knowing the groom had not been paying on his note in seven months. The bride went off on the groom and the repo team. It ended with the repo team driving the car away while being chased by the bride.

They regularly put themselves in harm's way, cussing and fighting to get the repo-ed item. The way they confront people, they seem more like thieves trying to con a person out of the item. It looks like they love confrontations. The Repo Team arrives wherever the vehicle is parked, and try to just take the vehicle without talking to the customer/owner first. They never go to a location with a police escort. They wait until there is blood, someone is hurt before involving the law. They live for the confrontation, thinking that they are untouchable.

The Last Partner thinks that Operation Repo is just that, a show. Cops is for real and has a hell of an editor. Most times they get their man.

World Wildest Police Videos shows us what the camera sees in actual situations. Road blocks, chases, gang activity, road stops, shootings, etc. There has been at least two shows where the officer was shot, shot at,  or had to shoot their weapons. There are not too many words that can completely describe the bravery of these officers and their families. They are  in a combat zone on a daily basis. My hat is off to them.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday April 16, 2010 It's The Tea Party Again

The Tea Party was a headliner for our local paper. They held rallies across the nation to garner support for their "no taxes" campaign on a date should to get publicized - National Tax Day. They believe that President Obama is going to turn this nation into a Socialist country by placing the government mostly in charge of our lives. The things that determine if we can survive or not. I.e., health care reform.

There are many times when I do not agree with some of the federal policies, and I reflect this at the polls when I vote. I understand that there are years when we have to have a low tax increase, and then there are times for a higher tax increase. I have never seen any plan go as foreseen. Yeah, it might start out the way we want, but we have to be prepared to make adjustments as necessary. When these changes come about, it is not an outright lie, it is a necessity. There are variables that can not be controlled by prior planning.

I sit back, like many people, and observe what is going on in the political arena s to how it might affect me and my family.  Most often, I will change the channel or turn the page, but ever now and then the subject will have my full attention.

I am being drawn in now because of the words "Tea Party" which takes me to Boston harbor. Wasn't that over taxes too? Over political control f a new nation? Are we going back over issues that we have tackled before? Of course, being at a different place in time, the semblance stops there. The steps being taken are just as radical as it was then, but the steps that are being taken now are different.

I am trying to figure out why a state that has an abled security force like the National Guard would need a state-sanctioned militia, like the one being requested in Oklahoma. What would justify such a thing? They talk about standing up to the government over such laws or policies that govern, say, health care.

As I have said in another blog, I am not politically minded or a professional, just a citizen voicing the views of one man - the Last Partner. Can you enlighten me as to why I should support the ideals of the Tea Party?How would it benefit the country, or me as an individual?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Are You Ready To Go With Jesus?

One has to wonder about the fate of the world today. There are a few more major tradegies than in the past, and there is a great number of people dying in each instance. We got tsunamis and earthquakes above 5 on the riechter scale with after-shocks almost as strong. People are dying by the hundreds in some cases, and literally, thousands in others.

Are you going to be ready to go with Jesus? Hmmm.

It brings my mind to a place where I have to ask, "what is going on?" Are the armies of heaven and hell growing, or is it just one of the other. Where is the population swelling and continuing to grow?

Between nature and untreatable diseases, we are leaving here. for sho. I have not studied the bible in years, but when I do read I am always drawn to "Revelations." How things are going to be. But it does not tell us when, just the signs to watch for. People has tried to decipher this over the ages, and can not agree how to interpet it.

Frankly, though, if you are a faithful follower of Jessus Christ, when the Lord comes back, he will take you with him. Whether you awake or sleep. One thing he does guarantee, is that it will not be expected.  If you watch for indicaters, old Satan will mislead you and guide you in the wrong direction. Away from Christ. Missing your first chance to go with Jesus.

The reason I make it sound like you will have more than one chance, is because on his return, the faithfull will be taken, and the rest will be left behind where Satan is to rule for a thousand years. How many refugees, yes, refugees, will try to come to the light? Another question is, are you going to be ready for his return or are you planning to vacation until he comes again? Think about this: Jesus speaks of a second coming, and the battle between heaven and hell with Satan ruling in-between. No place does he say he will make a third coming before the battle. Hmmm. So are you going to be leaving on the first and only train. or will you wait until the board says delayed, to be determined or cancelled?

One final thought. Things are happening so fast all around us: tsunami, earthquakes, diseases and war. Do you think that it Jesus or Satan filling their ranks for what's to come? The Last Partner thinks that you need to be ready.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

How Subtle Does Subtle Have To Be Before It Becomes Direct

Just how subtle does subtle have to be before it becomes direct? Am I paranoid to believe that there is a conspiracy happening in the American society, or am I placing things out of their textual meaning?

As I have stated in an earlier blog, I am not a professional in any subject, but my perceptions may be more than paranoia. When I read in the newspaper that there is a group called the Tea Party wanting to start a militia because of the turn the government is taking with its policies. Is this where we want to be at? Suspecting our government of undermining the principles that built this country?

I am not knowledgeable when it comes to politics, but I always thought that the people in Washington represented the personality of its people as a collective. One goal, one purpose. Then why is it that we as a people can be so torn that we'd rather see a country divided rather than unified in its efforts for a better tomorrow?

Ever since Obama began his campaign for President, it seems that at every opportunity someone is throwing race into the face of the Americian people where it doesn't belong. The Presidency is about the people, the health care of our nation is about the people, education is about the people; however, the war in the Middle East is about none of these. It is about oil, it is about religion, and it involves racial differences. Not that of the American people, but of a people that view all outside of its cult, its race to be a threat to their way of life.

One can not achieve its goal by bullying someone on this level. There will be no winner, unless it can be resolved in a way that satisfy all parties involved. Is there one solution for this? If it is, it will not be revealed for years to come. Then the real work for peace will begin. It will not be an easy road to travel.

I am going to close this by reminding you, the reader, that I am just a citizen, professional only in living, and this is just one man views on today.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Last Partner's Thought On Oprah

The Last Partner's one man views on Oprah, Stedman and Gayle is simple: Oprah, do what makes you happy. If it be a man, then 'go get him, girl'. If it be Gayle, why not tell it like it is, and move on. You of all people should know that you can not make everyone happy, but you also know that these days love and happiness are commodities no one should be without.

True, if you are in an intimate relationship with Gayle, and it become public, you could lose some of your fan base. However, I believe that most of your fans are like me, 'what difference does it make if you are gay?' It should make a difference if you are happy or not. You have made this world a better place, and continue to do so today through various activities. It is your time now to enjoy everything that you have worked for.

I was raised to judge people by their own merits. No one can dictate who my friends are. It has no bearing as to whether two of my friends like each other or not. I am sure they have their reasons for feeling the way they do. Since you are in the limelight, your public image is, perhaps, one of your major concerns. But, hey, you are Oprah Winfrey, and have more than earned the right to live your life the "O" way.
I believe if I had to sum up your relationship with Gayle in terms, you are soul sisters. Not all soul mates are of the opposite sex or have to be sexual. There is a place where you and someone else just click. It might be with more than one person.This is that place where you share a part of you that only this person can bring out. Sex is irrelevant..

Live your life and let the chips lay where they fall.

This is just one man view on a subject so close to the public. I am not a professional anything, except human.

They Stand Alone - Love - Carolyn And Angela

The Last Partner thinks back:

It is hard to describe how my relationship with Carolyn and Angela started or ended. It seemed like it was destiny or fate that pulled us together. With Carolyn it was stupidity, not being able to handle my liquor intake, and embarassing myself in front of all the females in her family that ended us.

Fate. While waiting at the bus stop in the town where Carolyn stayed, there was an elder man heading to Dallas. He could not stand my friend Vincent, who was heading to Dallas also. The man tricked Vincent into peeking at a clock through the back door of a hospital close by. While he was doing that, the man named off seven females to me, and asked which one I wanted to talk to. At first I told him none, but he kept on until I picked one. He always said them in the same order, so I chose the first one. Carolyn.

He had a unique description for her and her family. "Let me tell you about Carolyn," he said. "Her father is a preacher, and her mother is old fashioned. She is still in school, so since it is this late, you might not be able to talk right now, but here is her number just in case."

Her mother answered the telephone, and surprisingly, she let me speak with her. Carolyn thought I was one of her classmates playing a trick on her. That is, until I handed her uncle the telephone.

Carolyn sent me a picture after she started believing me, and I gave her my address on post. She was beautiful and 15 years old. Her father, the pastor, was kool. I just had to meet her mother's approval. That took about three visits. What was the capper, was that our birthdays were the same date.

This story is rather long, so I am going to shorten it.

During our relationship, I hung out with her brother, Joe, a deejay, and her brother-in-law, Derry, the black sheep of the family. I believe my downfall with Carolyn started the night she wanted to have sex on her couch in the den, while her parents were a few feet away in another room. I just couldn't do it. I tried talking her into going to a motel room, but she was scared that someone that knows her family will see her, and tell her parents.

This is around the time period she began seeing someone else behind my back. I found out one night when I showed up unexpectantly. Of all the nerve, she tried to introduce me to him, but I blew it off and left.

One weekend I showed  up for a visit hanging out with Joe and Derry. I got drunk and went to Carolyn's house to speak to her mother about my relationship with her. All of her sisters and mother gathered in the dining room and listened to a drunk fool cry, and just outright embarass himself.

While my son and I visited her sister in Louisiana, or it might of been on the phone, I learned that her mother thought that I had a drinking problem and did not want to see us together. I will admit that I did drink a lot back then, but I did not have a care in the world. It was just me, myself and I. Every time I visited we got drunk, or was drinking, so I can see why she thought this. But I have never had a problem with drinking.

It was during this time that I met Angela. I was just hanging out with a couple of friends, because I was being reassigned to Germany in 5 months. Anyway, we met two girls that were driving around, and Pearl talked them into parking. There were two females and three males, so I called myself dropping out. Let them get together.

Funny thing about women. They tend to think that if a man is quiet around them, he is a challenge for them. They talked for about thirty minutes with my friends getting addresses and phone numbers. Angela made sure that Malveaux brought me alone. She would call our unit and talk to me. In no certain terms she made it clear that she wanted to be with me. I told her that I would be leaving the country in five months, she understood, and said that she did not care. She just wanted to be with me. That made me feel good.

Things were going good right from the start. We mingled with each other's friends, we dedicated songs on the radio, and got together every chance we cold. One of my friend got married one night and I supplied the music. Angela and I had a good time until (I was drinking) a male friend of hers started paying too much attention to her, and I went ballistic. Jealousy and liquor do not go together. Now I have learned.

I got so into Angela, that I asked her to marry me. She said yes. After I spent about five months in Germany, I was hit hard by culture shock. Her aunt had her to call me to see if I still wanted to get married or she was going to college. I was a little crazed, it was around 5:30 am, and she was pushing me into a corner. I pushed back and called things off.

Angela never knew what she did wrong until my visit to Louisiana in 2006. I felt shame as I explained it in just a few words. Two actually. Drunk and jealousy.

So says the Last Partner.

First Love Second Chance - Marie

Marie was my soul mate. She was a major part of my life from the time we met in 1977 until 1987 when I came home from Germany for my Grandmother's funeral. Ten years of knowing that she was there for me, but I broke her heart by getting married in Germany, and expecting for her to understand that I was lonely.

That was the type of fool I was. I tried to talk her into marriage when I was 16, 18, and 25 years of age. Then I was assigned to a unit in Germany. I literally begged her to marry me. I really could not see my life without her in it. So what was the problem? It was a number of things, but I guess it broiled down to 2.

Marie had an uncle stationed in Texas in the Army. For some reason, she compared his lifestyle to mine. He "dated" many women where he was at, and did not hide that fact from the family. Well, she believed she knew what soldiers did with their free time.  Never did she mention me with another girlfriend, just prositutes like her uncle. Hell, I never met the man.

Reason number 2 I think she was scared to be away from her mother. There she was protected, safe from anything the world might throw her way.

It was a 1985 trip home that we made love for the first time. She initiated it by calling me and asking me to pick her up after work, and take her to a motel room she had paid for. Of course, she wanted me to give her her money back. I was more than ready to take our relationship to the next level. Yeah, more than ready.

Before I flew back to Germany, I tried one final time to talk her into marriage, and hit the same wall of denial. About a month after I arrived back at my unit, I recceived a letter from Marie wanting me to help her get a house right up the street from her mother. Now what would I look like helping the woman I love buy a house when she would not marry me, and would be having men in the house. Just wasn't going to happen.

I wrote her back and told her that. Before I came home two years later, I was so lonely that I fell for and married a German woman with a 12 year old daughter. I thought I was in love. I ran into Marie and her sisters going intl the Diamond Inn night club the night I was leaving to returned to my unit.She asked me one question and it was over.

"Are you married?" I answered, "yes." She said, "Then I have nothing else to say to you."

I divorced my first wife two years after I got out of the service. It took me a year to figure out that I could not maintained two households, and I could live without her. The German government required a one year waiting period to see if any kids were involved.

I thought/think about Marie all the time. There has not been a day to pass that I have not thought of her. I wanted to see her, but every one I asked about her said that she was married. For this reason, I kept my distance, but I want to see her to apologize face to face for the way I treated her. Maybe, someday I will get that chance. Only two other women has come close to this, but that distance is far behind.

So says the Last Partner. This is one man view. My view.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday April 12, 2010 - Abortions

I was reading in the paper today that Oklahoma has some anti-abortion bills on their agenda. Some of which seem senseless to me. They have a measure that will require both the woman and abortion provider to fill out a lengthy questionaire. Are they thinking that if they make the questionaire long enough that neither the provider or patient will want to fill it out?

Another one they have will require the woman to have an ultra-sound and have the doctor describe the fetus to them. If the woman is in the early stages of her pregnancy, what will describing the fetus accomplish? All the doctor will be able to tell her is if the fetus is healthy for the stage that it is in. He will not be able to tell you whether it is a boy or girl. So describing the fetus at this point is, well, pointless.

I believe that if a person has been blessed with a baby, they should have it. There are a lot of women in this world that can not have one, and would love to bring a baby into their home. I know that this is not all ways an option for mothers-to-be, but it is a positive option compared to abortion.

Forcing someone to have an abortion is illegal. Hmmm, put it on a sign and have it posted in abortion clinics. Hmmm  Is this a no-brainer? I can see abortions being performed on women that are in a bad situation, like rape, or other health reasons, but without that, let the child live.

The Last Partner is against abortions.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

In-Between - Search For True Love

First love . . . true love . . . friends . . . best friend. How can you say that my first girlfriend was my love? I do not believe that this is the case. At such a young age all you are doing is testing the waters before your boat set sail. As Earth, Wind & Fire said, "yearning and learning." Now you break up.

You broke up. How do you feel? How long did the hurt last? For me, it was just until the next girlfriend. After Bonita, there was Sherrie, Queen, Stephanie, Vicki, Sherry and Pam. I met Carolyn and Angela while I was stationed in Louisiana. They each found a spot in my heart that the other could not take, but only one can have the whole heart, overlaying all other. This is your first love. Your true love, and if you are lucky, your soul mate.

Friendship is what Bonita and I shared. Everlasting. We grew up together. Queen just happened. Stephanie, well, we never got anywhere. To me, she was like "homely girl" by the Chi-lites. She grew into a beautiful high yellow woman. Vicki was soft like marshallmellows, The Sherries and Pam, I was drawn to their big breast. Love'em.

The next young lady I met when I was 16 years old. Her name is Marie. Next blog.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Regrets That You Can't Forget

No one should ever have regrets about their life, but that is just one of the many facets of life. No matter how well we believe our lives are, we tend to forget things over the years that affected the live we lead. The bad or negatives seem to turn into the good and positives.

I find myself sometime regretting things I had not thought about in a long time. It would just hit me being keyed by something that was currently happening. Sometimes, it makes me feel so low, I wish I could do it again, differently. Other times, I would feel so high, I wish I would never come back down.

Then I begin comparing my life to the past. Thinking about what the changes would be if I done something differently, the end results. No matter how bad I want something I let slip away back, I would not change my life today. I have three children, the first being a boy. Would I still have children today if I had stayed with this woman or that woman? I do not know, but I do know, I love my children, and could not face life without them. Nor my wife.

From the time I was sixteen, I wanted a baby, so over the years I tried, and I tried. This woman, that woman and a sperm count. Hey, the count was very good, so what was wrong? Birth control? They said they were not using, and I hate condoms. Only one woman was blessed to have them for me.

Other regrets that I have experienced were interpersonal relationships, my music, my writing, my job and my friends. Hey, I am the Last Partner, fated to forever be alone. Either by my own design or by fate.

First Love Second Chance - Bonita

First love, is there really such a thing? I have tried over and over to figure out just who was my first real true love. I loved them all at the time I was with them, but was it the one.

I met Bonita when I was very young. She was my uncle's girlfriend niece. I never really paid any attention to my feeling for her until we were much older. She became my girlfriend when I was 14.

I heard a lot of rumors about her, mostly from one of my then best friends name Rickey. He said that her uncle was sexually abusing her after school when she went to her Grandparent's. I did not believe it, or rather I did not want to believe it. She was only eleven or twelve years old.

Rumors continued that she was having sex with anyone that wanted her. I wanted her to be my first sexual encounter, but after planning when and where, I chickened out. I lucked out for she was pregnant.

It appears she was in a gang-bang with two brothers and a couple of their friends. She ended up pregnant at the age of eleven years old. She never told me, but it was said that she said the last person to have sex with her that day was the father. One of the two brothers name George. She had a baby boy she named Anthony.

Over the years our paths crossed until she passed away at a young age. While I was in the Army, I came home one weekend to visit my family. The first night home there was a knock at the door. I answered and was surprised to see her standing there. We made plans to get together that night at her house where she lived with her parents, sister and son.

The night passed quickly as we watched movies, I sipped on some liquor her parents purchased, we talked, we hugged, and we kissed and cuddled. We never had sex, but it was one of the best nights I ever had. A lasting memory.

Years later I heard that she had married, and was suffering from lupus. Cancer. Let me bring this to a close.

It was discovered that the father of her son could possibly had been her biological father. She had taken him to court when her spirit could take it no longer. There is more said about the father that I will not talk about, except he went to prison, and is not among the living any more. He had been molesting her beginning at a very young age, and he tried to continue it even after she had moved out. Before she was married.

One day she was at home with her husband, and began feeling bad. He put her in the car to take to the hospital as he had done many times, because of her lupus. This time was different.

As he drove, she stopped talking, and leaned to one side, breathing like she had just went to sleep or fainted. By the time he had pulled into the hospital emergency room driveway, her spirit had departed her body. No more suffering.

Now I keep looking back at us, and remember . . . I saw her one night when I had one of my kids in the emergency room. Without thinking, I went to her, held her tightly, and kissed her. I guess that was our goodbye. Bless her.

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